Orientation

Tomorrow begins what I will refer to as Orientation Week: Learning About the Campus Policies of Which I Am (Mostly) Aware. Having gone to undergrad here, I understand how to obtain a parking permit, where to print, how to purchase athletics tickets and so on. Most of tomorrow will be spent that way, with the exception of the afternoon, where I will register as a new employee and go through orientation for the Department of English. The rest of the week will be dedicated to training for my job this year as a tutor in the writing lab on campus, as part of my assistantship.

I have to admit that I am a bit nervous about diving in to this program, while at the same time I am elated to be a part of a program I know I will love. I have confessed this to my parents and T, who both told me I have nothign to worry about, and that I worked my ass off to be here and I deserve it, ergo, no nervousness needed. At the risk of sounding full of myself, yeah, I did work my ass off and I sure as hell deserve it. But what makes me uneasy is that I have a distant feeling I will be the only student who is right out of undergrad. I didn't take some time off between undergrad and grad school to enter the workforce, I have relatively no publishing experience and I question how I will be received.

My mom told me I have always been a bit ahead of my peers, and so my maturity level will be my saving grace in this instance, and I sure as hell hope so. I'm hoping the collaborative nature of graduate school, particuarly among writers, will play to my advantage. It's not cutthroat like law school for instance (sorry T), and I have been welcomed already by a few former TAs and professors into the creative brood. Still the anxiety persists.

"A little nervousness is good," my mom told me. "It means you care about what you're doing."
"Yeah, call us tomorrow and tell us how right we were about you belonging," added my father. I suppose they're right, and the advantage of being younger is that I still get some parenting, while others are already parenting their children. Not that I'm drowing and need that much guidance, but the fact my parents can come to my aid and give me a pep talk is comforting. Like when I go to my parent's and my mom makes me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Nothing better.

T does his fair share of calming as well. We both have a big week ahead and often take turns playing the parent, per se. He has 8 interviews with law firms this week for summer associate positions, in addition to reading for class, which starts in a week. This is the home of grad students. I think I need to stock up on coffee and red pens.

After today and the talks I've had with each of my parents and T, the one piece of advice--if you can even call it that--left resonating in my mind is from my father. It was the chorus of my pre-teen and teenaged years during soccer and volleyball seasons, and it popped up a few times in college as well. "Give 'em hell, sweetheart." Will do, Dad.

Off to skim, er...read for workshop training,
S